Hello there, my name is Al. Yes odd to actually give a real name but why not? Anyways, this first post is simply to give you an idea of where I am and where I am going. To start, I’ll say that I have known of Druidry for about three years now and have practiced for about two. I have had no formal training, so in a sense, completely self taught. During my time I have struggled with understanding who I am and where I’m going.
Living in a Christian family I found that I had no connection to the religion some years back. I really don’t know why, it just never…clicked. Both my sides of my family, mother and father, are very into their religion and it works for them. I just couldn’t find that feeling there. You know the one I’m talking about, even if you can’t describe it. It’s that anchor in your life. No matter how shitty things get, you turn to it for guidance and comfort. I could never do that. It always felt weird that I would only turn to my religion when I needed to reconnect with myself and the world bigger than me. It didn’t feel like it had an active role in my life. After graduating Catholic grade school, big accomplishment there, I decided I would allow myself to find that anchor. What better time than when starting high school.
High School was a great experience for me, there is no denying that. Within the first year I decided to try and take an active role in Christianity seeing as it was a catholic high school. I went to the Eucharistic service almost everyday during free period that first year. I even joined a prayer group after school where I met many of my friends that I hold dear today. Basically I refused to give up until I was certain there was no connection and sure enough, there was none. As second year came around I decided not to kid myself anymore and gave up on trying to connect to Christianity. The mass going and praying stopped altogether but I kept up with the prayer group after school. I guess part of me didn’t want my friends to know how I felt till I knew how I felt myself. Looking back I don’t regret that decision one bit. To tell them how I felt meant straining a new bond before it can strengthen and grow. That second year I gave up on finding a connection all together. But that summer leading to my third year was one of the most interesting times.
Being bored during summer is awful. Lets not kid ourselves, we have all been there where we feel everything has been seen and done. That how I was come July, simply bored with the time. Having been bored, I guess it was only natural to search for something new. During the time leading to July I had discovered a growing interested in Medical Herbs. No not drugs but herbs that could stop infection, reduce fevers, sooth achy muscles. I had looked online for information but found it overwhelming, so i decided to go to the local Borders, before they went out of business. Once there I quickly located the book I wanted and sat there in the store reading it. It didn’t take long for my mind to wander and soon found myself starring, quiet intently at a plain white bound book. The Spine read, “Druidry Handbook.” I don’t know why I picked that book out but no more than a couple minutes later I was sitting there in the same place reading it. I read the whole thing there, not stopping once as shoppers walked around me (I was kind of sitting in the middle of the aisle). That book gave me something that I never knew about. Something worth looking into and that’s what I did.
I was obsessed with this book, I wanted to know everything about Druidry, the lore, the elements, the exercises, the rituals. Not only that, I wanted to experience all of this. I wanted to know what these people knew but I also knew rushing things would only hurt me in the end. So I waited one year. I did one year of research about Druidry but never made a move to join. My family knew of my actions even if they didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to bring up the fact that I wanted to walk a Druid path but I talked openly about what I was reading. Then just like any parent dealing with a fantasizing child, they nodded their heads and said, “tell me more!”, with that fake enthusiasm. Don’t get me wrong I love both my parents deeply, but nothing gets me more ticked off then when someone tries to get you to keep talking about something they are not interested in themselves. I don’t want social formalities, if your interested, ask, if not, go away. But now we are off subject in a sense.
That third year was great for me. I learned so much about the people around me and even more about myself. It was also the year I first started my work as a Druid. Yes I know I didn’t have formal training and trust me, it’s awful going through it by yourself. There is no one to guide you, no one to instruct you. Every time you feel something is wrong, there is no one there to tell you why. You have to become both the mentor and the student. The time I spent doing Ogham card readings, meditations and Grove Ritual Work was great and still is. Having to figure it out yourself and when you finally feel that connection, just amazing. It was the first time I had ever felt something like what my family had felt, that anchor. At this point I told my parents of my actions and they were completely unfazed. They weren’t mad or anything. They simply said, “you are searching right now in many ways, this is just one of them. Your interests have changed and they can change again, but always be open to those new ideas.” It made me so happy to hear that from them, that they weren’t mad at me for practicing another religion.
I was happy, but I also knew that not everyone in the world is as understanding. Come my forth and final year at high school, I told my friends of my endeavors. They were happy for me and glad to see me so comfortable with them. We talked openly about it and I gave them free range to ask any and all questions. One of my friends even started to refer to my Ogham cards as trumpets! That year was great but I still had things to wrap up. I was feeling confident in myself and what I believed in. I didn’t go around talking about it freely though. I only talked to those who asked and never gave more information than asked for. I hated how some people would try to guide me back to Christianity thinking I was incomplete or unhappy. At one point I believe my mother tried the same thing, but I was happy with where I was. That last year, as per tradition within Catholic Schools, we went on a Kiros Retreat. This is basically a religious retreat for three days two nights to get in touch with your faith. I was leading a small section of it. Nothing big just group discussion and a speech on faith. Oh wait, that’s right, I wasn’t Catholic so this was kinda hard for me. After about the second day I had my speech which, by the applause afterwords, went very well. I talked about my family and how i was unsure in my own faith. This actually made me sick to lie to them. I didn’t want to but it was the wrong time to bring it up. The last day though I was given a chance. We were to share anything we wanted with the sixty attendees. I got up after it looked like no one wanted to share and said, “I am going to share some interesting news. I will say it and if no one has a question I will sit back down. If you want to ask about it later be aware of two things, few things stay secret and the walls have ears. Now I will apologize for lying to you yesterday, I am actually quite comfortable in my faith. My faith is Druidry, any questions?” Sure enough questions were asked and I soon became comfortable talking in front of that group, but I didn’t give more information than was asked of me. Overall this experience was extremely positive and left me feeling confident in myself again.
Now here we are, the present. I am currently still a practitioner of Druidry and have no intention of stopping. I find great connection with nature magic such as stones and herbs and I focus on emotional stability as healing. I know it’s weird, focusing on the very thing that I struggled with for so long myself but I guess that is why I worked so hard at learning it. I never want to see someone go through that uncertainty and unhappiness that I went through alone. I’m off to college come August and will be enjoying myself there for a good four years if not less. This blog is designed exclusively to talk about what I am doing currently and to keep me motivated through a long project I have coming up. The project I am undertaking is to gain a better knowledge of the Ogham few. It will involve meditation, pathworking, and scrying on each few and should take about a year to complete. When I do finish I will have a better understanding of the Ogham alphabet and hopefully be ready to use them in everyday magic. Thank you to those who read this post to the end, hopefully I will see you again.